Saturday, March 16, 2019

The Wealthy, Education and the Rest of us.

In the news recently was the arrest of 50 or so extremely wealthy folks who cheated the system to get their kids into a good college.

It's easy to look at my hard-working, middle class (and if you ask me, exceptionally brilliant) kid, contrast him with the young YouTube "influencers" who benefitted from the crimes of their parents, and jump into the "filthy rich people suck" pool.

ALSO recently(not in the news, but in our house), this bit: My son is going to Prep School in the fall. Lordy, that's a sentence I never thought I'd say! Prep school is a bit of a financial reach for the 'unwashed masses.' Since my husband and I live a pretty standard middle-class life, defined by public schools, used cars, and 40-hour work weeks, I'd say that's us for sure. We're not the working poor by any means, but our 20th anniversary trip this summer will likely be a local state park for fishing, not a private island in the Caribbean.

Regardless of our finances, Prep School it is - because earlier this week we were informed that he had received a full scholarship (worth an estimated $250k all told) that includes not only tuition, but room and board, books, uniforms, laptop, and two educational trips abroad.

The fact is, our good fortune has only come because of one of those filthy rich folks. The award my son received is the Frank Batten award, named for a co-founder of The Weather Channel. This man, with more money than God (I don't actually know how rich he was, but had to be really rich) donated in excess of $50 million to this Prep School. Did he get a tax deduction? Probably. Does he now have a named legacy that will make him more famous in death than in life? Most definitely. BUT, whatever his motivation, Frank Batten gave his own money to benefit those who would not be able to have the experiences he enjoyed; the experiences that made him the success he was.

Our kid has been fortunate over the years to meet a wide variety of people. A great number of those are or were hockey teammates from the Chicago-area suburbs known as "The North Shore." This is where Michael Jordan, the owners of the Chicago Bears, and folks with the last name Walgreens keep their homes. Remember the awesome house in Ferris Buehler's Day Off? That's someone's real home in The North Shore.

Over those years, we have tried very hard to show him how to look past what people have and instead to notice who they are. Character over possessions. Kindness over exclusivity. Sometimes a friend or acquaintance would very clearly show him that lesson. We have met those who are genuinely kind, and others who will spend anything to 'help' the poor, provided everyone knows it and worships them - and then they'll expect a favor in return later. When we notice these things, we point them out.

But this week - a condensed lesson. Thanks to Frank Batten and Felicity Huffman et al, it has never been more clear: Being rich doesn't excuse you from being a jerk. And just being rich doesn't make you a jerk.

Money will simply cause you to become *more* of what you already are, it will not change your true nature.

Nick has long looked at our lives and wanted to one day be rich. He doesn't want his wife to have to work, or his kids to have to wonder if they can afford vacation. It's our job to raise him so that when he gets there, he is Frank Batten.

When reviewing his materials for this next big adventure, Nick said that he wanted to be rich enough so that he can send his kids to Culver, they'll never NEED a Batten scholarship, and he can help other kids get there.

I'm grateful we got to learn who Frank Batten is, and glad we now have him as a role model for our son. The kid learns quickly. Let's hope this one sticks.




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