Time to go...

"Preparing for a vacation is seldom easy. There are about 100 million things
to remember - add a 5 year old, and plan to go somewhere you've never been (so
you don't really know what to pack), and there can be a great deal of stress in the preparation.

One of the biggest problems however, is ME. Because while I am packing and prepping for a vacation, I am already there. I think at some point in my life I did live in the moment. But today I live in the future. And I don't like it. Because in my
future I am already back from vacation and back at the job I don't like, and
back failing at another goal."

Just a minute... was that really ME? Yep, while cruising through the list of unposted entries that sometimes queue up, I came across this most depressing whine. How on earth does one live like that? When (in reality) I have everything I could ever desire. My husband, son, life, love, faith... this entry surely must have been lurking in the shadows all these many months for a reason. Things get lost in cyberspace all the time - but not this depressing piece of drivel. Find the lesson... what does it mean... ??

I've GOT it! How about just this: "Quicherbichin!"

Yep, that's probably it.

A few months (and a different job) later, I wonder how, looking forward to a vacation could have made me so awfully depressed. Luckily, it didn't last!

I sometimes forget

In the midst of the bitching and complaining, of the sighing and whining, I sometimes - no, I often forget how fortunate I am. Once again, I have had to be schooled in gratitude. The problem is, I take no joy in these lessons. The reminders to be grateful always - - and I rarely use the word "always" - but the reminders to be grateful ALWAYS come at someone else's expense.

Today - and for the past couple of months really, I have not been able to get enough 'hug-time' with my 5 year old. Not only do I work too much (yes, at a job I don't like... but you know that already), but he has reached a point where hugs and kisses are generally barely tolerated. If I catch him at a particularly sleepy moment, or right after he bumps his head, he'll willingly take a snuggle and a kiss. But for the most part, he runs away from my affection.

I know this is normal - but it's incredibly bad timing. Because two months ago I began appreciating Nick more - really seeing his smile and committing it to memory. I began holding every last hug until the latest moment he would allow - and I swear - because I am paying more attention now - I can close my eyes and feel his hug wrapped around my neck.

My renewed gratitude comes as a direct result of the pain and suffering of the Stanton family. Danny Stanton, just four years old, died on December 12. This was not a tragic accident - not a careless driver - not a daredevil fall. Danny passed away in the night - safely (or so they thought) asleep in his own bed. No stranger-danger, no boogyman, no one to blame. I don't need to recount the story; several news outlets already have, and I would just start to cry again. Do a Google search for "Danny Stanton." There's a lot to read. Their boogyman was Epilepsy - Sudden Unexplained Death in EPilepsy, specifically (SUDEP).

To my amazement, his parents Mike and Marianne Stanton, have appeared on a few talk shows, been interviewed for the some newspapers, and have started a foundation in their son's memory. Personally, I'd be curled up in a ball under my bed. Through the Danny Did Foundation they are preparing to change the world.

I read about what they are doing - about what they lost - I see the amazing photos of a little boy just a few months younger than mine - and I cry. It is said that God only gives us what we can handle. I am grateful that God knows me for the sissy I truly am.

If you don't know Danny Stanton, get to know him now. He and his amazing family, and his most captivating smile - will surely change the world. They have certainly changed me.

Take your time... Engage Others... Enjoy Life... Danny Did.